Dear Mom,

I don't know how this started
or when it all began
I don't know when you gave up on me
or when you started to not give a damn.

Your love for me shattered to pieces
and I watched as it fell to the floor.
You left me when I needed you most
and never looking back, you walked out the door.

I never measured up to your expectations
I was never good enough for you
and as much as you may deny it
its dreadfully true.

You could never tell me you hate me
but I can see it in your eyes
And every time you'd say you loved me or that you cared,
I could see right through your lies.

You don't know how much I wanted to be good enough
or even how much I tried.
You never really noticed me
or how much I actually cried.

But I'm done caring,
caring about how you see me
And I don't give a fuck what you want
I'll be whatever I want to be

So think think what you want
and call me every name in the book
Just sit back and watch me throw it all away
go ahead and shoot me another dirty look

I know I'm not perfect
and I've accepted that I'm never going to be
but at least when I look in the mirror
I can stomach the person looking back at me.

Why?

Was I not good enough for you?
Did I say something to make you go?
Why were there no signs of it?
You never let it show.

You make me wonder,
I wonder everyday
is there something I could have done?
or something I should say?

Was I not pretty enough?
or is it that I'm not too smart?
I thought my love would be enough for you,
I gave you my whole heart

I thought you would never hurt me
I thought you'd never put me through pain
I thought I'd never lose you
and if I did I'd go insane

You were my first love
but you didn't feel the same way back
I thought things were going great
but we couldn't keep them in tact

It hurts that I lost my love
but I lost way more than you can imagine
I lost something that hurts way more
I lost my best friend

I want to know how you see me,                                          
do you see through all the rumors and the lies?
How do you love me,
when I'm someone that others despise?

How can you be proud of me,
when others have slandered my name?
Is this some kind of joke to you,
are you playing a game?

How could you love me
and see past what other do?
How could I possibly know,
know that your love is true?

You've always been there
you've always seen past the lies
you know I've done nothing,
nothing you could ever despise

You never listened to others
and what they said about me
You knew it couldn't be true,
you know that's just not me

There's no game
there's just you and me
No lies, rumors, or deceit
just the truth that you can see

You've been there for me
just like I'll always be there for you
Just as long as you know
our love is true